Monthly Archives: January 2011

Mailbag

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It’s just all spam, all the time, isn’t it? Even the real mail, it’s just useless. Every day the mailman brings us several pounds of junk from colleges we’ve never heard of, have no intention of even looking at, and have never responded to after 356 previous mailings. They can just cut it out, but they don’t. (Here’s a clue: with our daughter’s grades and scores, she will not be considering any school that is pretending to be another school. Hear that, Cornell of Iowa?)

And in the email pile? Excellent news! My free iPad has shipped! Oh, but bad news! My Bank of Montreal account has been locked! I have my pick of inheritances or bequeathments from around the world, but I’m not sure I can access them with this Bank of Montreal problem nagging me.

(Oddly, spam seems to have given up on improving my penis. I’m not sure how to take that).

Snow days

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I remember all those snow days I spent playing Rock Band with my father. Oh, wait, that’ll be my kids. I couldn’t get my father to play Pong. And he would never have signed on as the bass player for our band, Leotard SoufflĂ©. We’ve been tucked up inside instead of out sledding or enjoying the wintry mess, primarily because it has been such a mess. Haven’t wanted to drive anywhere; it was mid-day yesterday before our hill was even plowed. Took a walk around the lake but not on it yesterday. Only a delay today, so it looks like Leotard SoufflĂ© will not be on tour.

All I said was,

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DSC_0756 sm.jpg“It’s a shame we can’t reuse those practically brand new countertops you’re going to throw out, Mom.” Next thing I know, my kitchen is a worksite. There is painting, and drilling, and plumbing, and sanding, and countertop finishing, and every tool I own is in the kitchen, and we’re working around it trying to make meals. And, of course, get our regular work done. I should know better than to give my mother an idea about renovating things, especially when she’s not offering to actually do the work.

By the way, “measure twice, cut once”? How about “measure twice, then before you cut go back and check the original dimensions that you’re working from and be sure they were right in the first place”? Because I don’t want to believe that a certain replacement drawer is cursed, but it doesn’t seem possible I could build it to the wrong size twice, so gypsy curse becomes the most believable explanation.

Let’s start the new year with an apology

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A couple of years ago, I was man enough to  officially apologize to Fleetwood Mac. I was wrong, “Tusk” was a great album. In fact, since I wrote that mea culpa, it’s become one of my favorite albums ever.

So now it’s Squeeze‘s turn. I was a massive Squeeze fan in the ’80s, believed they could do no wrong, and stuck with them through their Jools Holland-less period. But I felt they were starting to slide with “Cosi Fan Tutti Frutti,” and then “Babylon and On,” and by the time “Frank” came out, with its horrible title, I just decided I was done, barely gave it a listen, and tossed it to the back of the queue. Twenty-two years later, I just want to say I’m sorry. “Frank” was not only a great Squeeze album, it’s a great album by any measure, and it should have been recognized as one of their best. My mistake, guys.

(Of course, it could just be the shellac fumes working on me.)

By the way, like a lot of bands of the ’80s, they were massively ripped off by the music biz. They’ve put out a collection of their greatest hits, newly recorded but extremely faithful to the originals, hoping to make some money off the sounds that the ’80s channels keep pumping out. And Glenn Tilbrook’s “Pandemonium Ensues” was one of my favorite albums of last year. Highly worth a listen.

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