Avast, me hearties!

Arrrr! At least, sure as the sun sets over the yardarm, finally it be International Talk Like a Pirate Day! You don’t even want to know what an uproar I’ve caused in my office. Perhaps it’s the bright yellow bandanna (really a helmet liner, but piratey enough). Perhaps it’s the lobster on my shoulder (me parrot took sick with a terrible case of the splathers, I tells ’em). Perhaps it’s me spyglass. But I seem to be occasionin’ more than me fair share of the old crooked-eye, sidelong glances what imply I may not be altogether altogether up in the crow’s nest, if you catch me meanin’. But folks such as them be just ripe for keel-haulin’, I says!