True Homeowner Confessions

The thing is, our attic is just an attic. You need a ladder to get up there. It has no floor, and it is filled with mountains of blown-in cellulose insulation, so you can’t see the joists, making moving around VERY tricky. There are a few boards strewn here and there, so I can store some boxes, but that’s about it. For some reason, not long after we moved in, I got up there and started poking around a little bit, and got a good look at the bathroom ceiling fan (a project the previous owner never quite completed, as it vents only to the attic, which wasn’t exactly begging for all that moist air — the rest of the piping is lying right there next to the fan). Traced the wiring and found a huge electrical no-no: the fan was wired to the switch in the bathroom, but the wires were joined only with electrical nuts, and then stuffed down in the insulation. No junction box. Never leave a wiring junction exposed! However, I learned this all on a very hot day in, say, 1992; it was 110 degrees in the attic, and the house hadn’t been set on fire yet. To make things safe, we put a very high-tech electrical switch blocking mechanism on the bathroom fan switch: we covered it with a piece of scotch tape, the universal symbol for “don’t use this switch.” Doesn’t mean people haven’t used it over the years, but I can’t take responsibility for people who don’t understand their universal symbols. Anyway, this highly unsafe condition was left to rot for, say, 11 years. Until yesterday, when I had a massive brainstorm about supplying the attic with electricity in case I ever wanted a light up there. While I was running a wire up from the ripped-asunder bedroom, boxing it up and tying it off, my eyes ventured over toward that damn bathroom fan, and I realized I was due for a good night’s sleep, the sleep of the electrically just, if I just boxed up that fan junction. And I did. 10 minutes work that I’ve put off for 11 years. I should be embarrassed, but I am a man, and therefore will bask in the glory of my minute accomplishment.

Lance Armstrong is killing me, by the way. Further loss of lead against Ullrich. Says he was massively dehydrated in the time trial (massive enough to rehydrate by IV), lost 6kg on the course, which is huge. And he didn’t look so good yesterday, though he came in fourth. Yesterday’s stage had an inhuman climb of 10% grade; today’s has a number of grueling climbs. This is where he usually excels, but Ullrich is like a freight train this year. This is killing me.