Bye bye, boring radio

This is it. Howard Stern’s last day on terrestrial radio. I’m a huge fan of Howard, not for the smut and the strippers, but for his incredible ability to get people to reveal themselves, and his skill at creating radio train wrecks that you can’t turn away from. Who else could have spent hours in an argument over whether “oil and vinegar” and “vinaigrette” were the same thing, and made it so funny you could listen to it over and over again? But most important to me, it’s the last time I have to listen to ads for diamonds, mattresses, help wanted websites, biker clothes, or any of the other phenomenally annoying local ad sponsors that have been faithful to the show but drive me crazy hearing them over and over and over for years and years and years.

I was a huge fan of radio growing up — like a lot of people my age, it seemed magical. The DJs still seemed like celebrities (though it was often best not to actually see them in person), just about any kind of music could be played on a station — there was a great atmosphere, but it seemed like it could be even better. Then there was a great radio station in college, WAER, that really had that perfect mix of very professional shows mixed with a wild eclecticism — until a professor seized an opportunity to make it what he wanted it to be: all boring jazz, all the time. Click! (Okay, car radios don’t click anymore.) And ever since then, I’ve barely listened to radio at all, because I have never heard good new music again. But I got into Howard Stern about 10 years ago, and it gave me hope that radio could be great again. Then Janet Jackson’s nipple somehow equated to a crackdown on radio — because that’s how this works: always have a crusade in your pocket, just in case the opportunity arises. Almost nothing could be said anymore (even though it was being said on other shows, even on cable TV), and it just got to be too much, so I was thrilled when Stern decided to go to satellite. I just hope I can tear myself away from the Underground Garage channel long enough to listen!