How do you say “Windows sucks!” en francais?

Sorry, I dropped the cedilla there. Can’t find it on my Windows keyboard. Also, I came in this morning and was forced by our system to allow a new network client installation. This, of course, went flawlessly, upgrading all by itself and providing me with a new, better working environment.

Oh, wait, that was in my dreams! No, in fact, the install hung up in the middle, and now I can’t get on the network at all. Ever. I’d call the Help Desk, but I don’t have their number because I use the online phone directory. And I’m just going to end this tirade there, because it will end up with me blaming Windows for my inability to go to NYC and have a fun evening with friends tomorrow night, as I had planned, because instead I have to go to Syracuse and defend a certain state in a ridiculous lawsuit. I’m not happy about this. If I took this governing thing personally, someone would pay.

California: my prayers are with you. You have long been the republic’s equivalent of a crazy homeless person, teetering on the edge between being a harmless amusement and being a danger to yourself. Well, now I’m afraid it’s time for the straitjacket. You can no longer be trusted not to hurt yourself. This is the state that gave us the Beach Boys and Charlie Manson. At the same time. I’ll take the Big Apple’s brand of crazy any day, thanks. I understand people wanting to push me onto the subway tracks. I’m against it, but I get it. I do not understand people who think drugged-up, overcompensating sexual harassers still struggling with English as a third language qualify as leaders. Your futon; lie on it, if you dare.