Little known facts about the Tour de France

One of the reasons I hardly post in July is that my free time is entirely taken up with watching the Tour de France. It’s not a sporting event, it’s a major life commitment. There are many names and teams and times to memorize. The guy leading the race is probably not going to win. The guys who are incredibly fast at the finish line get left behind, sometimes eliminated, in the mountains. It’s a whole thing, and you can’t just watch it casually.

But today’s a rest day, so I thought I’d share some things you probably didn’t know about the Tour de France:

• There are more guys named Vladimir than you might think, but only one of them has the magnificent name of Vladimir Karpets. (For that matter, even at a total of one, there are more guys named Inigo than you might think).
  
• Unlike ordinary bike riders, they don’t need to find a cemetery to pee.
  
• Yes, they are going twice as fast as I can. No, that doesn’t bother me at all.
  
• I have a hard time remembering the scale of Europe. But let’s put it this way: the opening time trial was 15 kilometers, and they couldn’t fit it all into Monaco.
  
• Anytime you hear the name of Juan Antonio Flecha, you are required to say, in the voice of the The Count from Sesame Street, “Two! Two Antonio Flecha! Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!”
  
• You will always hear that the Basque riders of Euskaltel-Euskadi feel “at home in the mountains.” Apparently “home” to a Basque is a place where you don’t win any stages.
  
• People often say, “You’re not a racer – why do you need that fancy gadget?” Because I’m not a racer. I have no ability. I need all the help getting home I can get.
  
• You hardly ever hear about roadkill during a race. When I’m out riding, I hardly notice anything else. I think this deserves more coverage.