News to hang yourself by

A sample of BBC news stories that came across the Sirius this morning:

1. Asian markets implode. Even China is starting to feel impacts.
2. Two advocates of ethical suicide fight with each other over their ideas on how and whether you should kill yourself.
3. Hey, the American stock markets aren’t feeling any too perky, either. The newsreader actually asks, “What will it take to satisfy these people?”

Thanks, BBC, for the triple-acting gloom, doom, and more doom. Now, should I take the gaspipe or the noose? Then they follow it up with the growing threat of Somalian piracy, and even though I don’t think they’ve come up the Hudson yet, it’s making me worried because it’s a time of worry.

Time to find a kitten, quick.