One of those talks

As a result of letting my children watch “Grease,” I had the pleasure of explaining to my soon-to-be-11-year-old that she probably didn’t want to repeat Rizzo’s line, “I feel like a broken typewriter . . . I skipped a period!” She thought it was funny and mimicked it immediately. Turns out she thought she meant she had skipped a class. Had to explain, no, it’s the other kind of period, and that skipping it could be a sign you’re pregnant. More of these conversations to come!

Compared to the conversations my parents had with me about sex . . . well, there’s nothing to compare it to. I was expected to learn about it on the street, apparently. Luckily, we had a lot of older kids around to tell us lies. For pr0n, we had the Sears catalog and the occasional Holy Grail of old-newspaper-collecting, a Playboy collection, which we would then bury in the earth for later viewing. Mildewy wet paper still has a strong sexual connection for me. And that’s more than you needed to know, I know . . . .