Why I rarely check my email

There was a lot of controversy about eliminating Saturday mail, the elimination of which would not have bothered me at all. Once my younger one is off to the college of her choice, we’ll receive just about no mail every day. The annoyance of junk mail has been replaced almost entirely by the annoyance of junk e-mail and spam. I may go days without opening my personal email inbox, and rarely miss anything. What I learned from my email inbox today:

• Alert! Someone has written about the videogame character that shares my name! A lot. And someone else with my name died. It’s sad.
• There are many discussions on LinkedIn. Not one of them has ever led to anything productive.
• Funds were left yesterday with a diplomat. Funds for me. It may involve a will.
• I could get a bachelor’s degree, or train to be a nurse, in less time than I think.
• Someone wants to date me, sight unseen.
• Many people want photographs from many local cemeteries. This is a thing I do sometimes, but it is really hard to find a particular headstone in a cemetery, so many people’s wants will go unmet.
• I could get an extended vehicle warranty at a significant reduction! I’m sure they’re dying to cover two vehicles with 125,000 miles each.
• I could become a Mystery Shopper!
• General ADAMS PETERSON would like me to kindly reply urgently.
• My email doppelganger, someone local who listed my email address as her own, has been shopping at Kmart again. I get her receipts. They depress me.

Need to actually get ahold of me? Better tweet me.