Reprieve

Only because I found this, written maybe 7 years ago, did my elder daughter survive the ride home. And even still, its power to keep me from wringing her neck is wearing thin. But here it is:
Here’s how I put my little girl to bed. Mommy mostly gives her scrubby-dubs and toothbrush, changes her diaper and gets her into a onesie to sleep in. Then out go the lights and Mommy sings her “lullabye and goodnight.” Then Daddy holds her and she pats Humpty Dumpty, hanging from her ceiling light, and she recites “Humpty Dumpty” (which she’s been doing since she was about 2 and 2 months). Then I make Humpty wave “Night night, Hannah.” Then I lay her down for “one-mores,” which used to be one more time I’d hold her in my arms, but she’s too big. I sing the “Wheels on the Bus” in this order: driver, babies, mommies, doors, wipers, lights, wheels, horn. And then, “ABC one time” and then I tuck her in, saying “tuck tuck tuck” as I do it, ignoring any stalling she’s trying to do, and then I say “night night” and she asks, “Wake up morning eat breakfast go to school?” and I say, “Yes.”

— Mr. Johnson is still singing “The Wheels on the Bus,” night after night after night…