The hits just keep on getting weirder

Here are just a few of the search times that have brought visitors to this site lately. Forget about “tribeca meaning” and “glycerol ester of you-know-what.” I mean, why are people even searching for these things?

• “Angela Cartwright BeeGees” I am the ONLY real result.
• “Wild Angels Ride Tonight” (I’m one of only 3 results on Yahoo)
• “How do people in New York earn money?” We steal it from tourists. Now hand it over.
• “Survivor microphone necklaces” I have no idea how I got this one.
• “Meaningful songs about life.” I believe I was ascribing depth to an ELO song. I’m sorry.
• “Diane Lane lovelies.” Should that be possessive?
• “Trick iTunes to work on Windows 98.” That’s like tricking champagne to taste like lighter fluid. Why?
• “Photographs of men doing modelling for socks.” Damn, some people are sick.
• “Spandex pants olivia movie grease.” Yeah, I talked about that.
• “Bingingtum.” Yay! I’m the only hit!
• “Humans Sterling Storm.” Now that’s just freaky.
• “Where did creampuffs originate.” No f’ing clue.
• “Translate Comment allez-vous ce soir Je suis comme ci comme ca.” I will, but not for you.
• “What else will my i-pod do.” Hey, it’s not a Furby, pal.
• “Huntz Hall Sandwich Shop.” Ooh! Ooh!
• “Sean O Keefe is an asshole.” Hey, watch what you say about a fellow Maxwell grad!

And that’s just this month!